“How big can you get before you get bad.” – Subroto Bagchi.
The lines are written by him but have been told to me by a very senior person from the media fraternity. It happened on a day when our whole team sat for a refreshing coffee in the cafeteria after a day full of stress and pressure. It was a time when recession was just setting in our country and the grapevine suggested that our division was going to shut, the top management was going through a shuffle which led us to believe so. Many of our leaders were rumored to have been sacked, due to either incompetence or foul play in the organization; the market was packed with negative rumors about our company. Stalwarts in the industry claimed that the launch of this new division will mark the downfall of our company as a media house, thus in such an unsafe scenario, we were all very precarious about our existence in the company and our discussion in the cafeteria very explicitly revealed so. So engrossed we were in our conversation that we did not realize that our CEO had just walked in. Pretending to not have heard our conversation, he quickly reached for his fruit plate and walked out. Unfortunately for me, I was the longest working employee in the group that we were sitting in, as soon as we dispersed; our CEO spotted me from the glass door of one of our conference rooms and called me out. He said “Subroto has asked a very valid question in his book, “Go Kiss the World”. He questions the readers “How big can you get before you get bad?” what he means to say is that there is an extremely thin line differentiating big from bad, and it is wise to take cognizance of this line, before the world starts terming you bad. So does it mean that every one who becomes big starts becoming bad?” I was a little blank for a few minutes. Firstly the CEO has caught me unaware and is now asking me questions which I assumed would require a witty answer to earn some brownie points. Well leaving me in that confused frame of mind he quickly retaliated to his own question. He said “Well I differ a little on this; I feel that if you have at least a dozen people considering you BAD, you are on your path to becoming BIG. These losers can’t see us grow that is the reason you hear them floating such rumors about us!” He continued by saying “The threat of seeing someone grow compels certain people to pull you down. 10 people will criticize you not because they strongly feel so, but because they see a potential threat in you to their career. The news floating in the market just proves it that we are posing a threat to the other players and the only alternative they are left with is talking ill of our company and people. So while people term us as BAD, we must all celebrate the fact that we are on our road to success and will soon become the BIG Daddy in the industry.”
WOW this man actually set me thinking. In spite of the fact that his comparison and relevance of what Bagchi comments in his book to his idea of BIG vs. BAD is debatable, he still made two strong statements, he placed two views both sounding correct independently but contradicting each other. In my opinion, these two statements could have never been compared. Although I haven’t read his book, I feel what Bagchi is asking his readers to do is introspection of what moral benchmarks we hold in our lives and are we able to sustain them even when we become successful. While what our CEO opines is that once we are big the external environment wants to claim us as bad as we pose a threat to their growth. I think both experiences find place in our lives at different levels. While introspection is a constant process, dealing with such negativity often or occasionally is also as common.
How Big can we get before we get bad! The best example to site here would be of our very own politicians. They just cannot handle success; in fact what makes them bad is GREED. Greed for power, money, fame, name, everything! They turn evil because of selfish interests. How many of them fulfill promises they make while campaigning for elections, once they are elected? How many of them are sincerely working for this country? Most of them raise an issue and sit back enjoying the ordeal that the common man then has to deal with. A list of genuine politicians is so small that it can probably be counted on our finger tips I’m sure. Well another industry which is filled with such people is our very own BOLLYWOOD. We often read news on certain actors, about their arrogance, and humiliating behavior towards fellow artists or junior actors. There are many film stars who have not been able to handle success. Success gets to their head and arrogance takes over. All news might not be authentic, but as they say there is no smoke without fire! I’m sure we do have such specimens existing, but that hardly affects us in any way. In fact it is quick entertainment for us when we so interestingly read about them in magazines and newspapers. Mr. Madhur Bhandarkar in fact made a whole movie called “FASHION” which showed this same journey of a model that rises to fame and then experiences a downfall due to the negative impact, fame has on her. Madhur Bhandarkar is known for his real cinema, so if this is reality, then our entertainment industry is filled with such people who can very well justify Bagchi’s statement.
But at the same time we cannot ignore some people who have become BIG but still have their modesty and goodness intact. I’m sure they all have sacrificed a lot in their lives to achieve this image. They are people who want to become big but not at the cost of someone else. They are people who are determined to make a difference to the society and touch lives as they pass their journey. I’m sure there are some renowned names which fall in this category of people too. I have myself experienced many people who have touched my life and to me are selfless people, who are far BIG in my opinion, but because they are selfless, they could never make a big name for themselves? Is it their good nature that stood as a hurdle? Or were they plainly incapable. If being good is a hurdle then what makes Dr. Narayan Murthy as big as he is? He is just one off names that comes to my mind, but what happens to those benevolent leaders who disappear in the crowd? They are the unsung heroes in our lives who have never got their due credit. But is it their fault?
Well introspection is definitely the answer! While we steadily climb the ladder to success and prosperity, if we give up introspecting our actions and reactions, we might lose the plot! Having our heads firmly held on our shoulders is so critical! As we grow the eye balls doing a quick scrutiny on us, also steadily grow. At such a point, what is most difficult is to remain good in front of all these eyes! While that is tough, what is important is to remain good in our own eyes! Well all this is easier said than done! Many a times I have fought with my own conscious for some of my actions! While we may not act in a way that is harmful to others, but we often react to other’s harmful actions in a way that make us look bad to the world! My personal experience says that if we think with our hearts, we sometimes tend to repent on our decisions at some point in the future, but if we think with our heads, we often make the right decision! Many of my friends argue with me that with matters related to the heart, you should always think with your heart! I feel that even in matters related to the heart if we think with our hearts we often flow with emotions and lose our ability to rationally think from all perspectives, in the bargain ruining either our side of the story or someone else’s. If a practical mind has to take a decision, with good intentions, the decision will always be rational and fruitful. Of course here the good intentions bear maximum weight as without such good intentions, the results will never be fruitful!
But however good our intentions are, we still face flak for our actions and reactions. Every success story has some criticism attached to it. In fact, we are so accustomed to these criticisms that we cannot enjoy our success without tasting some of it. Meaningful criticism helps us mend certain pitfalls, we can avoid in future. And the insignificant disapprovals to our actions are only meant for sharing and laughing it out! Here I quite agree with what my CEO said that such insignificant criticism is meant to be enjoyed as they are proof of our success! Even the best people, institutions, and companies are condemned for some of their actions. Some of the best work is criticized for what it is! Another example from our very own Bollywood; The most critically acclaimed film “BLACK” was also criticized by Aamir Khan for its portrayal of the physically challenged and the way Amitabh Bachchan’s character handles his patient. All this again to garner publicity for his own film “TAARE ZAMEEN PAR” which was soon to be released then! Sorry folks, the movie buff that I am, I can’t find more appropriate examples to establish my point of view as movies are something we all can relate to.
Now that I have already written more than two pages talking about the journey from The BIG to The Bad, I still need to figure why in the first place did I ever choose such a topic? A topic which elaborated two thoughts, both thoughts which were not mine! Both compared without much relevance by someone but not me. Still I managed to write more than two pages talking of both points of view! May be both thoughts reflected me in some degrees? May be? Well if I am still battling between growing big and turning bad, or if I am already rejoicing being proclaimed as bad because I am growing big, what has happened to the good in me?? Well as I continue to introspect, the lesson that I have already learnt is that “Never openly discuss your point of view in a public place such as the CAFETERIA, lest you never know which wrong person has his ears on you!” Well thanks to my team, had we not discussed our woes in the cafeteria, our CEO would have never heard us, and it would not have sparked off that conversation between us, which further flickered into this discussion. Whatever the lesson may be, or whatever confusion I have managed to create in your minds it has surely given me something to write as my editorial!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
My First Nine Months... Oct. Diwali Anka 2009
The two words ‘nine’ ‘months’ when used together are rather synonymous to one of the most significant period in anyone’s life. It is that time in our lives when we are at the threshold of taking responsibility of a new life. Yes, this is our porch to parenthood, of giving birth to our child. I thoughtfully replaced motherhood with parenthood because these nine months are of equal significance to both the expecting mother and father, and together they experience one of the best moments in their lives! We as parents are fortunate to have had the same experience three years back! Since these were and always will be my first nine months of it’s kind, there could be nothing more momentous than sharing this experience with all of you through a platform which is in this diwali issue talking about everyone’s version of “my first time at………..”
There are certain things very common to everyone’s nine months and some which are unique to each couple. Well the most common feature was thankfully eliminated from my nine months which was ‘morning sickness’. From the time I learnt that I was pregnant I dreaded this very tough phenomena of morning sickness and I was very glad that I never ever suffered the same anytime. There are many other common aspects of these nine months which I’m sure all couples undergo. The sheer joy of having a baby is a constant factor in the subconscious mind of every would-be parent. But alongside this joy also a permanent resident is high levels of anxiety at various junctures due to the highs and lows in the basic health of the mother and baby. Mood swings, cravings, mental preparation for the most difficult labour pains, the delight of hearing the baby’s heart beats in the first trimester and then the bliss of seeing the foetus grow and take human shape in the eagerly awaited ultra sounds, enjoying the baby kicking inside, the constant guess work of all family members whether its going to be a boy or a girl are some of the most common features! Talking about this guesswork, something which always amazed me was how every aunt seeing the mother’s tummy grow would confidently claim if it’s a boy or a girl. Not just the tummy but even the glow on the mother’s face can help define the sex of the baby according to our very enthusiastic relatives. Baby showers, which we call ‘Dohale Jevan’ is also a function which is eagerly awaited. Now this is a function completely for the would-be mother as she enjoys a lot of pampering and gifts from all her friends and relatives. The would-be father is a mere spectator and probably spends his time clicking photographs of the mother with the others present at the function. There is a sweet ritual associated with ‘dohale jevan’ which is breaking the modak which all of us are aware of, but for those who don’t, here is something very unique to our customs. Now there are two modaks one with a laddoo inside and the other with a shingdi inside. If the would-be mother breaks the laddoo with shingdi inside then she’s going to have a girl and vice versa. This particular ritual is done twice in these months, one done by the would-be mother’s mother and the other by her mother-in-law. Now this calculation can turn out to be very misleading if in both the rituals the forecast is contradicting. Anyway these are rituals done on a lighter note and are to be enjoyed for the fun involved in it more than the belief in the same.
The would-be fathers also have some similar experiences in these nine months. High levels of anxiety about the baby and their wife’s health, monetary planning for the forthcoming expenses, reading up on the best available books on pregnancy and child care, trying their hands on holding anyone’s baby on the first given opportunity as a trial session, talking to as many people on parenting, asking other fathers on how the total experience of becoming a father is, praying everyday that their wife should not have a craving for anything in the middle of the night, and at times when their prayers are not answered helplessly making whatever is demanded available for their beloved wives etc. etc. By the way, whatever I wrote about would-be fathers is not applicable to my husband as he did nothing of it all. Barring a little bit of anxiety about the baby’s and my health (fortunately I had a pleasant pregnancy with no major complications), he had to do nothing of the above. Monetary planning at that point of time was never on his agenda, I used to read this book called “what to expect when you are expecting” gifted by my sister, I don’t think he must have completed even one chapter from that book. The first child he must have held in the past few years is our son Shaurya, I don’t think he must have ever even noticed a child around a 10ft distance from him. Since we were the first couple to get married in his friend circle, we were the first one’s to even have a baby, so the question of asking other fathers never occurred. And with luck by his side, he never had to cater to midnight emergencies such as fulfilling my food cravings as I rarely had any. These were just a few things associated with these months, some of which we encountered, and some we didn’t. But like I mentioned earlier, there are certain situations unique to each couple. We too had our share of these experiences.
In my first trimester itself, we changed homes. This was a landmark move in our lives. The grief of leaving the area we lived for so long was compensated by the joy of living in a spacious four bedroom house. We had the pleasure of designing our own rooms and since we were already expecting a baby’s arrival, we were able to plan the interiors keeping the baby in mind. Of course packing and unpacking in those days would get hectic for me since I was pregnant and could not afford to be as active as I otherwise was. From Santa Cruz we shifted to Malad, and I was working at VT. This meant that my travel time to work had doubled. It was only once that I tried to board the morning train to Churchgate from Malad, and that was my last tryst with train travel for that period. We all know the scene on a weekday morning at Malad station. Thereafter we hired a driver to take me everyday to work. Talking of work, well in those days I was working with The Times Group, handling sales for Maharashtra Times Classifieds section. My work involved a lot of travelling, and very soon, I had to announce at work that I was pregnant and would not be able to do the travelling required. I suggested to my boss to give me a temporary transfer and a change in profile, which he did. He transferred me to our Khar sub-office, but would occasionally call me to the Head Office since I was still reporting in to him. We were a team of 15 members, out of which 14 were boys. All these boys would go out for meetings and since I was the only one allowed to sit in office, I was given the responsibility of tracking ad spends of all clients across all the times group publications and its’ competition. Now this used to be a tedious job and coming up with various reports and their permutations and combinations involved a lot of calculations. My boss used to always tell me that my child will be very intelligent and strong in mathematics because of the amount of calculations I was exposed to, and would joke that I should thank him for the same. Eventually in my sixth month of pregnancy, I had to leave my job, as slowly my travelling increased, affecting my health in many ways. This was a turning point in my life. Initially I heaved a sigh of relief for being spared of the loads of work I had got myself involved in and also the everyday travel which was painful. I started enjoying my long hours of sleep which I was deprived off till then due to work. But slowly I started missing work, and felt I needed something to do and keep myself occupied. Well the tummy was growing and so was the discomfort, there was not much I could have got myself involved in at that point of time. I used to keep myself busy in some TV shows that time. There was this one program called “Baby Stories” on discovery channel. This show used to take the viewers through the nine months of selected people and their delivery process and initial few months after the baby’s birth I used to be glued to it and never missed an episode. I finished reading the book that my sister had gifted too! Well my sister was also expecting a baby at the same time. She was two months ahead of me, therefore used to share her experiences with me often. We regularly exchanged notes and certain dos and don’ts. Soon it was time for her delivery and my mother too joined her there in The United States. She delivered a healthy baby boy, on the auspicious occasion of Ganesh Chaturthi. We were all thrilled with this new addition in our family, but I was most curious about knowing the details of how severe her labour pains were and how was her experience giving birth to a child. She very bravely faced labour but warned me of the excruciating pain. I still remember the butterflies in my stomach thinking about that pain! But I used to pacify myself thinking that if giving birth to a child is a process every lady goes through anywhere in the world, then my tolerance levels are surely above the average tolerance levels of women across the world. And if so many women can continue giving birth to not only one but many in spite of the pain associated, then so can I.
The last trimester was very interesting. The feelings were mixed. On one hand I used to enjoy feeling the baby inside the womb, and counting the kicks everyday but on the other hand, I was counting days for the delivery and was physically tired of carrying the increased weight around. I used to enjoy shopping for maternity outfits at MotherCare, but used to get frustrated seeing myself outgrow all my clothes. Another thing I would dread to see was my weight on the weighing scale, which was forever increasing! Now that was not a very great sight at all! Fortunately I had a rather non-problematic pregnancy therefore we could afford to do many things which many expecting parents are deprived off due to the long bed rests advised by doctors. Considering that I was pregnant, we never had to slow down on our social activities. We never stopped partying, travelling, going for movies and dinners or attending weddings, we were there everywhere and had some great times with friends and relatives! Not forgetting the special attention and pampering that I got as an expecting mother from family and friends was overwhelming.
I was given a due date of October 29, 2006, but my doctor said that we will have to get me to deliver earlier. Two days before diwali, was my new scheduled date. It was October 17, I had not slept well the previous night, with all weird thoughts in my mind. What if I go into labour at night? What if I go into labour on the way to the hospital? What if there is an emergency caesarean operation advised? Proving all my weird thoughts wrong, there a new day was born. Early in the morning, all apprehensive of my labour time, I bravely entered the hospital. I remember being accompanied by my husband and my mother. By 11.00 am I was in labour; walking around in pain initially I was plainly waiting to get myself out of this condition. Soon I was taken in the labour room and by 3.50 pm I delivered a bonny baby boy! The doctor announced “it’s a boy!” The baby was kept in a blue tub below and taken outside; his screeching sounds of crying could be heard for a long time. My family got busy in calling up relatives and friends announcing a new arrival in our family. But I had still not seen my baby. I was taken in my room, and was patiently waiting to see him. Soon they brought him in my room; when I first held him, I suddenly realized that if GOD was running a corporate firm, this was my day of promotion. I was promoted to a new designation called “mother” with a new job profile, with of course no salary increase but some weight increase!!! Well never mind the WEIGHT that could be shredded later, but the WAIT was worth all the nine months which ended so beautifully, as God’s best creation lay so peacefully in my arms. My first nine months had just got over, but thereafter life changed forever! These nine months gave birth to a new ME, and kick started the most beautiful time of my life!
There are certain things very common to everyone’s nine months and some which are unique to each couple. Well the most common feature was thankfully eliminated from my nine months which was ‘morning sickness’. From the time I learnt that I was pregnant I dreaded this very tough phenomena of morning sickness and I was very glad that I never ever suffered the same anytime. There are many other common aspects of these nine months which I’m sure all couples undergo. The sheer joy of having a baby is a constant factor in the subconscious mind of every would-be parent. But alongside this joy also a permanent resident is high levels of anxiety at various junctures due to the highs and lows in the basic health of the mother and baby. Mood swings, cravings, mental preparation for the most difficult labour pains, the delight of hearing the baby’s heart beats in the first trimester and then the bliss of seeing the foetus grow and take human shape in the eagerly awaited ultra sounds, enjoying the baby kicking inside, the constant guess work of all family members whether its going to be a boy or a girl are some of the most common features! Talking about this guesswork, something which always amazed me was how every aunt seeing the mother’s tummy grow would confidently claim if it’s a boy or a girl. Not just the tummy but even the glow on the mother’s face can help define the sex of the baby according to our very enthusiastic relatives. Baby showers, which we call ‘Dohale Jevan’ is also a function which is eagerly awaited. Now this is a function completely for the would-be mother as she enjoys a lot of pampering and gifts from all her friends and relatives. The would-be father is a mere spectator and probably spends his time clicking photographs of the mother with the others present at the function. There is a sweet ritual associated with ‘dohale jevan’ which is breaking the modak which all of us are aware of, but for those who don’t, here is something very unique to our customs. Now there are two modaks one with a laddoo inside and the other with a shingdi inside. If the would-be mother breaks the laddoo with shingdi inside then she’s going to have a girl and vice versa. This particular ritual is done twice in these months, one done by the would-be mother’s mother and the other by her mother-in-law. Now this calculation can turn out to be very misleading if in both the rituals the forecast is contradicting. Anyway these are rituals done on a lighter note and are to be enjoyed for the fun involved in it more than the belief in the same.
The would-be fathers also have some similar experiences in these nine months. High levels of anxiety about the baby and their wife’s health, monetary planning for the forthcoming expenses, reading up on the best available books on pregnancy and child care, trying their hands on holding anyone’s baby on the first given opportunity as a trial session, talking to as many people on parenting, asking other fathers on how the total experience of becoming a father is, praying everyday that their wife should not have a craving for anything in the middle of the night, and at times when their prayers are not answered helplessly making whatever is demanded available for their beloved wives etc. etc. By the way, whatever I wrote about would-be fathers is not applicable to my husband as he did nothing of it all. Barring a little bit of anxiety about the baby’s and my health (fortunately I had a pleasant pregnancy with no major complications), he had to do nothing of the above. Monetary planning at that point of time was never on his agenda, I used to read this book called “what to expect when you are expecting” gifted by my sister, I don’t think he must have completed even one chapter from that book. The first child he must have held in the past few years is our son Shaurya, I don’t think he must have ever even noticed a child around a 10ft distance from him. Since we were the first couple to get married in his friend circle, we were the first one’s to even have a baby, so the question of asking other fathers never occurred. And with luck by his side, he never had to cater to midnight emergencies such as fulfilling my food cravings as I rarely had any. These were just a few things associated with these months, some of which we encountered, and some we didn’t. But like I mentioned earlier, there are certain situations unique to each couple. We too had our share of these experiences.
In my first trimester itself, we changed homes. This was a landmark move in our lives. The grief of leaving the area we lived for so long was compensated by the joy of living in a spacious four bedroom house. We had the pleasure of designing our own rooms and since we were already expecting a baby’s arrival, we were able to plan the interiors keeping the baby in mind. Of course packing and unpacking in those days would get hectic for me since I was pregnant and could not afford to be as active as I otherwise was. From Santa Cruz we shifted to Malad, and I was working at VT. This meant that my travel time to work had doubled. It was only once that I tried to board the morning train to Churchgate from Malad, and that was my last tryst with train travel for that period. We all know the scene on a weekday morning at Malad station. Thereafter we hired a driver to take me everyday to work. Talking of work, well in those days I was working with The Times Group, handling sales for Maharashtra Times Classifieds section. My work involved a lot of travelling, and very soon, I had to announce at work that I was pregnant and would not be able to do the travelling required. I suggested to my boss to give me a temporary transfer and a change in profile, which he did. He transferred me to our Khar sub-office, but would occasionally call me to the Head Office since I was still reporting in to him. We were a team of 15 members, out of which 14 were boys. All these boys would go out for meetings and since I was the only one allowed to sit in office, I was given the responsibility of tracking ad spends of all clients across all the times group publications and its’ competition. Now this used to be a tedious job and coming up with various reports and their permutations and combinations involved a lot of calculations. My boss used to always tell me that my child will be very intelligent and strong in mathematics because of the amount of calculations I was exposed to, and would joke that I should thank him for the same. Eventually in my sixth month of pregnancy, I had to leave my job, as slowly my travelling increased, affecting my health in many ways. This was a turning point in my life. Initially I heaved a sigh of relief for being spared of the loads of work I had got myself involved in and also the everyday travel which was painful. I started enjoying my long hours of sleep which I was deprived off till then due to work. But slowly I started missing work, and felt I needed something to do and keep myself occupied. Well the tummy was growing and so was the discomfort, there was not much I could have got myself involved in at that point of time. I used to keep myself busy in some TV shows that time. There was this one program called “Baby Stories” on discovery channel. This show used to take the viewers through the nine months of selected people and their delivery process and initial few months after the baby’s birth I used to be glued to it and never missed an episode. I finished reading the book that my sister had gifted too! Well my sister was also expecting a baby at the same time. She was two months ahead of me, therefore used to share her experiences with me often. We regularly exchanged notes and certain dos and don’ts. Soon it was time for her delivery and my mother too joined her there in The United States. She delivered a healthy baby boy, on the auspicious occasion of Ganesh Chaturthi. We were all thrilled with this new addition in our family, but I was most curious about knowing the details of how severe her labour pains were and how was her experience giving birth to a child. She very bravely faced labour but warned me of the excruciating pain. I still remember the butterflies in my stomach thinking about that pain! But I used to pacify myself thinking that if giving birth to a child is a process every lady goes through anywhere in the world, then my tolerance levels are surely above the average tolerance levels of women across the world. And if so many women can continue giving birth to not only one but many in spite of the pain associated, then so can I.
The last trimester was very interesting. The feelings were mixed. On one hand I used to enjoy feeling the baby inside the womb, and counting the kicks everyday but on the other hand, I was counting days for the delivery and was physically tired of carrying the increased weight around. I used to enjoy shopping for maternity outfits at MotherCare, but used to get frustrated seeing myself outgrow all my clothes. Another thing I would dread to see was my weight on the weighing scale, which was forever increasing! Now that was not a very great sight at all! Fortunately I had a rather non-problematic pregnancy therefore we could afford to do many things which many expecting parents are deprived off due to the long bed rests advised by doctors. Considering that I was pregnant, we never had to slow down on our social activities. We never stopped partying, travelling, going for movies and dinners or attending weddings, we were there everywhere and had some great times with friends and relatives! Not forgetting the special attention and pampering that I got as an expecting mother from family and friends was overwhelming.
I was given a due date of October 29, 2006, but my doctor said that we will have to get me to deliver earlier. Two days before diwali, was my new scheduled date. It was October 17, I had not slept well the previous night, with all weird thoughts in my mind. What if I go into labour at night? What if I go into labour on the way to the hospital? What if there is an emergency caesarean operation advised? Proving all my weird thoughts wrong, there a new day was born. Early in the morning, all apprehensive of my labour time, I bravely entered the hospital. I remember being accompanied by my husband and my mother. By 11.00 am I was in labour; walking around in pain initially I was plainly waiting to get myself out of this condition. Soon I was taken in the labour room and by 3.50 pm I delivered a bonny baby boy! The doctor announced “it’s a boy!” The baby was kept in a blue tub below and taken outside; his screeching sounds of crying could be heard for a long time. My family got busy in calling up relatives and friends announcing a new arrival in our family. But I had still not seen my baby. I was taken in my room, and was patiently waiting to see him. Soon they brought him in my room; when I first held him, I suddenly realized that if GOD was running a corporate firm, this was my day of promotion. I was promoted to a new designation called “mother” with a new job profile, with of course no salary increase but some weight increase!!! Well never mind the WEIGHT that could be shredded later, but the WAIT was worth all the nine months which ended so beautifully, as God’s best creation lay so peacefully in my arms. My first nine months had just got over, but thereafter life changed forever! These nine months gave birth to a new ME, and kick started the most beautiful time of my life!
FROM TEARS TO TRIUMPH & THE WAY FORWARD……July 2009
The feeling of triumph has still not faded. That aroma of success still lingers around. Yes, YUVA MANCH is still basking in the glory of Pratyush’09! It has been almost a month since the event got over, but even today when any of us talk, we only talk of Pratyush. In fact, we talk almost every alternate day! What started as a journey of a handful of ‘yuvas’ who wanted to transform the mindsets of young PPs, slowly became a revolution with almost 70 odd youths joining hands in this venture! Success of Pratyush’09 is attributed to the hardwork of all these 70 odd young souls who sweated out everyday for more than a month to make Pratyush’09 what it is! Undoubtedly I hold no qualms in proudly stating that Pratyush’09 will go down in the history of Pathare Prabhu Community, as one of the most remarkable events that ever happened. I hope it is also remembered as A NEW RISING as the name “Pratyush” suggests a new beginning of young leaders, working for the community. From the response that we have got from our young PPs after this show, I can confidently say that our community will see many more young leaders in the years to come, and I think this is the greatest achievement of Pratyush’09.
Pratyush was our stage to talk to all the youngsters of our community. Barriers were many! Unfazed by these barriers we still walked confidently on this path sorting out issues, solving each others’ problems, helping each other, listening to each other. Many a times all we needed was to vent out our stress, we became each others’ stress busters! Sometimes everything would go perfectly well, and the very next moment the mountain of problems would collapse on all of us and suddenly a feeling of suffocation under the debris of problems would settle in. We witnessed all emotions, if on one side we were facing helplessness, anger, frustration, impatience, arrogance, on the other side, we also cherished all our special moments of joy, fun, togetherness, and somewhere a gut feeling of victory was always nudging us to push the envelope further! We learnt many lessons, and of course we taught some too! We learnt the power of team work, we as a team faced each problem together and that was our biggest strength.
At times we had to mask our troubles with a big broad smile to welcome all our friends’ everyday who were working so hard for the event. 70 people, with 70 different views, it was a tough job to manage each of them. Some had problems with rehearsal timings, some with the snacks, and some with the casting of dancers in the various performances and some THANKFULLY HAD NO PROBLEMS AT ALL!!!! This was a blessing for us. I take this opportunity to thank all those dancers who never fussed about anything and cooperated with us throughout the last few months!! A special mention to all the kids dancing for us and their parents is inevitable. The most cooperative of the lot were the kids, though a tad too noisy at times, but they never caused hindrance or any sort of issues for us or anyone. All those who had no problems with us, I’m sure if you are reading you would know whom I’m talking about! YOU were our biggest driving force. Whenever we felt we are sailing in a sinking ship, we would look at your smiling faces and bounce back! Not to forget our senior members of the board, your frequent visits at the rehearsal hall were very reassuring and always strengthened our belief that we were on the right path.
We have some great memories attached to the show. Those quick dinners at Pizza Hut or Zaika, discussing the way forward, small conversations between all the dancers, Vishwas Sir’s funny one liners and his way of addressing some of the dancers, he had specific names for almost everyone. Some which I distinctly remember are ‘Akka’, ‘annappa’ , ‘shyamchi aie’, ‘Kazwa’, ‘jadeja’, ‘paattal’, ‘jaadu’, ‘taayde’, ‘atya’, it was his way of gelling in the group and he did it so well that no one ever had a problem with the names he had kept for them. I can go on about Vishwas Sir, as he was the best thing to have happened to Pratyush. His dedication and grit in making all of us dance paid off so well. Prabhu Tarun and Yuva Manch will always be grateful to him for his contribution to Pratyush’09. Of course I can’t miss out Pooja Ajinkya (sapna tai as we fondly called her) and Amar Ajinkya (we are yet to figure out if we should call him Amar dada, or Amar Bhauji or just Amar). They both have been instrumental in putting the whole show together from direction, costumes, light, sound, script, etc. the list is too long! We had some great moments with them too! Well as I write this editorial I’m realizing that Pratyush is so fresh in my mind and I’m sure it must be as fresh in everyone’s minds that have seen it. One of our committee members had a popular dialogue perpetually stuck with him which would make all of us laugh in the most difficult times. If any one of us, spoke of any problem in front of him he would very cheerfully say “tension nahi lene ka, everything will be fine” – Mithil this is for you, thanks for those cheerful moments!! These are all the moments we will cherish as golden memories throughout our lives! Well now the other committee members please don’t expect me to make a special personal mention of each of you, after this, as you all know there is not much space! But nevertheless, three cheers to the Yuva Manch Committee! Well I think I’m digressing from my topic. The point that I’m driving home is that, all we wanted was Yuva Manch back in business, and as you all can see, it is indeed back, full of enthusiasm, zest, and fervour! The working committee of yuva manch has in fact doubled in number after the show!
At the beginning of the year Yuva Manch had organized a party where a calendar of events was announced. Now is the time to take on all the events chalked down in the calendar. One of the most important jobs on hand is to maintain the Prabhu Tarun website which is now open for registration. Now every PP can register on this site and use a login password to access the newsletter online. There is a nominal one time registration fee of Rs.1000/- for the same. Our immediate task will be to maintain and ensure smooth functioning of this website. We will keep adding new features and interactive links to make this site more appealing to a larger audience within the community. This website again will not just give a worldwide access to Prabhu Tarun, but we plan to load it with a lot of interesting stuff. There is a blog being organized on this website, where all of us can write freely and interact with each other on various topics. We also plan to create a typical PP space on it, which will showcase everything typical to a PP. Right from our clothing, food, festivals, the works! For all the entrepreneurs there is good news for you, as you all can buy a link on this website to your own website. You can also buy space to advertise or sponsor any particular page on the website. Of course we are still at a very nascent stage of getting everything organized, but everyone will be regularly posted on the same. If any of you have a valuable suggestion on what you would like to see on it, we are all ears! Again, this is a great opportunity for all our NRI friends to find their roots and connect with the community through this website. If any of the NRI folks want us to touch upon any topics or offer any additional facilities on the website, please do let us know.
Apart from the website, we are also currently managing the activity of guest editors writing for Prabhu Tarun in the Yuva Manch Section. This activity was stalled temporarily to accommodate advertising space for Pratyush, but we have revived it from this month onwards. Baba (Vihang Nayak) and Suhasini kaki had thought of this concept even before TOI launched guest editors for their publication. They both initiated this concept few years back and successfully completed a year with 24 guest editors. We thought of continuing the novel concept, but this time only for the Yuva Manch section. And we were overwhelmed with the response we got for the same. Thanks to the success of the first project handled by baba and suhasini kaki that our young guest editors were so receptive to this concept. As the website and guest editors for Yuva Manch section remain to be priority for us, Yuva Manch will continue the events planned in the calendar. We promise to deliver more than your expectations in every forthcoming project that we undertake.
Amongst all the entertainment, fun, infotainment and education that we have planned through our forthcoming events we have been off late brainstorming on doing some serious and meaningful work, some work that is for a good cause either specifically for the people of our community or may be for any lesser privileged section of people outside the community. Many thoughts were exchanged; many ideas are still floating in our minds. There are so many benevolent institutions within our community who are doing great work for our folks; therefore it is difficult to place us between these esteemed institutions. Pathare Prabhu Charities does a lot of work in the interest of education of a lesser privileged PP. In fact from what we understand, Charities is involved in monetary assistance in any area of requirements for our community for all the PPs who cannot afford the same. They have also initiated free medical camps for our people. Social Samaj and Mahila Samaj also I believe does a lot of work. We do not want to clash our projects with any of these institutions. We want to do something which is unique to us, and is an independent project in itself. As one of our senior members rightly advised, don’t give people what YOU want to give, but give them what THEY want from you. We are contemplating execution of some of the ideas. With so many minds thinking I’m sure we will come up with something different and significant. Of course getting so many minds to agree on one idea might take long, but I’m confident that there is surely scope for us to explore areas to contribute, and there will surely be that one cracker of an idea which will appeal to all of us undisputedly.
The execution of this cause will be our way of giving back to the society, the community which has given us our identity. I’m sure the way we doubled in number after Pratyush, we will grow manifolds with each new venture we undertake. We welcome one and all to be a part of this revolution. There are no criteria or terms which you need to fulfil to be a part of this fast growing group of enthusiasts. All you need is great time management; because that is probably the only reason we get from people who do not want to join us. Of course great time management will help you make yourself available for the duties of the committee, but it needs to be coupled with other qualities like basic willingness to work, working in a team, accountability of every job undertaken, acceptance of the basic working of the board, working without complaints and with no expectations of returns. Yes, certain things we can guarantee you. Some returns like, some memorable joyous moments with a group full of like minded people, a sense of pride to have done something good for your community, perhaps you will get to do things which you have never done before in your professional or academic life, may be you discover a new side of YOU, not to forget the blessings of all our senior PPs who have always encouraged us to work for the community and above all and the most important is WE can guarantee you great friends for life! Let me tell you, you don’t get them so easily nowadays!!! Well our plans that I have mentioned above are just the tip of the ice – berg. Pratyush was just a beginning and there is a lot more to be done. Many more events, a lot more work to be accomplished! Thus I would like to end with a popular dialogue of a film, “Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost” so stay tuned in for more happenings, fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the roller coaster ride with YUVA MANCH!!
Pratyush was our stage to talk to all the youngsters of our community. Barriers were many! Unfazed by these barriers we still walked confidently on this path sorting out issues, solving each others’ problems, helping each other, listening to each other. Many a times all we needed was to vent out our stress, we became each others’ stress busters! Sometimes everything would go perfectly well, and the very next moment the mountain of problems would collapse on all of us and suddenly a feeling of suffocation under the debris of problems would settle in. We witnessed all emotions, if on one side we were facing helplessness, anger, frustration, impatience, arrogance, on the other side, we also cherished all our special moments of joy, fun, togetherness, and somewhere a gut feeling of victory was always nudging us to push the envelope further! We learnt many lessons, and of course we taught some too! We learnt the power of team work, we as a team faced each problem together and that was our biggest strength.
At times we had to mask our troubles with a big broad smile to welcome all our friends’ everyday who were working so hard for the event. 70 people, with 70 different views, it was a tough job to manage each of them. Some had problems with rehearsal timings, some with the snacks, and some with the casting of dancers in the various performances and some THANKFULLY HAD NO PROBLEMS AT ALL!!!! This was a blessing for us. I take this opportunity to thank all those dancers who never fussed about anything and cooperated with us throughout the last few months!! A special mention to all the kids dancing for us and their parents is inevitable. The most cooperative of the lot were the kids, though a tad too noisy at times, but they never caused hindrance or any sort of issues for us or anyone. All those who had no problems with us, I’m sure if you are reading you would know whom I’m talking about! YOU were our biggest driving force. Whenever we felt we are sailing in a sinking ship, we would look at your smiling faces and bounce back! Not to forget our senior members of the board, your frequent visits at the rehearsal hall were very reassuring and always strengthened our belief that we were on the right path.
We have some great memories attached to the show. Those quick dinners at Pizza Hut or Zaika, discussing the way forward, small conversations between all the dancers, Vishwas Sir’s funny one liners and his way of addressing some of the dancers, he had specific names for almost everyone. Some which I distinctly remember are ‘Akka’, ‘annappa’ , ‘shyamchi aie’, ‘Kazwa’, ‘jadeja’, ‘paattal’, ‘jaadu’, ‘taayde’, ‘atya’, it was his way of gelling in the group and he did it so well that no one ever had a problem with the names he had kept for them. I can go on about Vishwas Sir, as he was the best thing to have happened to Pratyush. His dedication and grit in making all of us dance paid off so well. Prabhu Tarun and Yuva Manch will always be grateful to him for his contribution to Pratyush’09. Of course I can’t miss out Pooja Ajinkya (sapna tai as we fondly called her) and Amar Ajinkya (we are yet to figure out if we should call him Amar dada, or Amar Bhauji or just Amar). They both have been instrumental in putting the whole show together from direction, costumes, light, sound, script, etc. the list is too long! We had some great moments with them too! Well as I write this editorial I’m realizing that Pratyush is so fresh in my mind and I’m sure it must be as fresh in everyone’s minds that have seen it. One of our committee members had a popular dialogue perpetually stuck with him which would make all of us laugh in the most difficult times. If any one of us, spoke of any problem in front of him he would very cheerfully say “tension nahi lene ka, everything will be fine” – Mithil this is for you, thanks for those cheerful moments!! These are all the moments we will cherish as golden memories throughout our lives! Well now the other committee members please don’t expect me to make a special personal mention of each of you, after this, as you all know there is not much space! But nevertheless, three cheers to the Yuva Manch Committee! Well I think I’m digressing from my topic. The point that I’m driving home is that, all we wanted was Yuva Manch back in business, and as you all can see, it is indeed back, full of enthusiasm, zest, and fervour! The working committee of yuva manch has in fact doubled in number after the show!
At the beginning of the year Yuva Manch had organized a party where a calendar of events was announced. Now is the time to take on all the events chalked down in the calendar. One of the most important jobs on hand is to maintain the Prabhu Tarun website which is now open for registration. Now every PP can register on this site and use a login password to access the newsletter online. There is a nominal one time registration fee of Rs.1000/- for the same. Our immediate task will be to maintain and ensure smooth functioning of this website. We will keep adding new features and interactive links to make this site more appealing to a larger audience within the community. This website again will not just give a worldwide access to Prabhu Tarun, but we plan to load it with a lot of interesting stuff. There is a blog being organized on this website, where all of us can write freely and interact with each other on various topics. We also plan to create a typical PP space on it, which will showcase everything typical to a PP. Right from our clothing, food, festivals, the works! For all the entrepreneurs there is good news for you, as you all can buy a link on this website to your own website. You can also buy space to advertise or sponsor any particular page on the website. Of course we are still at a very nascent stage of getting everything organized, but everyone will be regularly posted on the same. If any of you have a valuable suggestion on what you would like to see on it, we are all ears! Again, this is a great opportunity for all our NRI friends to find their roots and connect with the community through this website. If any of the NRI folks want us to touch upon any topics or offer any additional facilities on the website, please do let us know.
Apart from the website, we are also currently managing the activity of guest editors writing for Prabhu Tarun in the Yuva Manch Section. This activity was stalled temporarily to accommodate advertising space for Pratyush, but we have revived it from this month onwards. Baba (Vihang Nayak) and Suhasini kaki had thought of this concept even before TOI launched guest editors for their publication. They both initiated this concept few years back and successfully completed a year with 24 guest editors. We thought of continuing the novel concept, but this time only for the Yuva Manch section. And we were overwhelmed with the response we got for the same. Thanks to the success of the first project handled by baba and suhasini kaki that our young guest editors were so receptive to this concept. As the website and guest editors for Yuva Manch section remain to be priority for us, Yuva Manch will continue the events planned in the calendar. We promise to deliver more than your expectations in every forthcoming project that we undertake.
Amongst all the entertainment, fun, infotainment and education that we have planned through our forthcoming events we have been off late brainstorming on doing some serious and meaningful work, some work that is for a good cause either specifically for the people of our community or may be for any lesser privileged section of people outside the community. Many thoughts were exchanged; many ideas are still floating in our minds. There are so many benevolent institutions within our community who are doing great work for our folks; therefore it is difficult to place us between these esteemed institutions. Pathare Prabhu Charities does a lot of work in the interest of education of a lesser privileged PP. In fact from what we understand, Charities is involved in monetary assistance in any area of requirements for our community for all the PPs who cannot afford the same. They have also initiated free medical camps for our people. Social Samaj and Mahila Samaj also I believe does a lot of work. We do not want to clash our projects with any of these institutions. We want to do something which is unique to us, and is an independent project in itself. As one of our senior members rightly advised, don’t give people what YOU want to give, but give them what THEY want from you. We are contemplating execution of some of the ideas. With so many minds thinking I’m sure we will come up with something different and significant. Of course getting so many minds to agree on one idea might take long, but I’m confident that there is surely scope for us to explore areas to contribute, and there will surely be that one cracker of an idea which will appeal to all of us undisputedly.
The execution of this cause will be our way of giving back to the society, the community which has given us our identity. I’m sure the way we doubled in number after Pratyush, we will grow manifolds with each new venture we undertake. We welcome one and all to be a part of this revolution. There are no criteria or terms which you need to fulfil to be a part of this fast growing group of enthusiasts. All you need is great time management; because that is probably the only reason we get from people who do not want to join us. Of course great time management will help you make yourself available for the duties of the committee, but it needs to be coupled with other qualities like basic willingness to work, working in a team, accountability of every job undertaken, acceptance of the basic working of the board, working without complaints and with no expectations of returns. Yes, certain things we can guarantee you. Some returns like, some memorable joyous moments with a group full of like minded people, a sense of pride to have done something good for your community, perhaps you will get to do things which you have never done before in your professional or academic life, may be you discover a new side of YOU, not to forget the blessings of all our senior PPs who have always encouraged us to work for the community and above all and the most important is WE can guarantee you great friends for life! Let me tell you, you don’t get them so easily nowadays!!! Well our plans that I have mentioned above are just the tip of the ice – berg. Pratyush was just a beginning and there is a lot more to be done. Many more events, a lot more work to be accomplished! Thus I would like to end with a popular dialogue of a film, “Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost” so stay tuned in for more happenings, fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the roller coaster ride with YUVA MANCH!!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... March 2009
(A special tribute to all the women, on the occasion of International Women’s day held on March 8, 2009, )
I don’t know if after reading this article you all will call me a feminist, though I don’t claim to be one, but a poem I read, has really caught my interest, therefore I thought I should share the poem along with my views on the same. Well I don’t know who has written it, but I’m sure this person has to be a woman, because it talks of WHAT a woman should HAVE and WHAT a woman should KNOW!! Actually on a second thought I don’t think it is a Poem as there are no rhyming words, (well at least that is my idea of a poem that the last two words of two consecutive lines should rhyme.) I might be wrong on my take of a poem, as I don’t consider myself that well acquainted with Poetry, This could be a list of some DO’s and DON’T’s or one-liners that the writer has created as set rules based on her experiences. I take the liberty to call this writer a ‘lady’ as I assume that the thoughts expressed are very much of a WOMAN, and if my assumption is by any means wrong, then I would be pleasantly surprised! WHY?
Well the writer starts by saying…
“A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny..”
OK, now I don’t think this is quite true as full control over destiny can only be a feeling, and one can never control destiny. So often the best laid plans don’t materialize the way we want them to. At that time we feel that everything was so perfect then what went wrong? And the answer to that is only DESTINY! Destiny always has planned something for us if all our plans are successful then we are in sync with destiny, and if not then, I would like to believe that Destiny has laid some better plans for us. Now that should not stop us from striving or fighting for what we want. But I’m sure it is nice to have a feeling of control over our own destiny. At least it makes us feel that it is only we, or our destiny that rules us, and no one else!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
Now I hope I’m not giving you all wrong ideas! But when we women are independent it gives us the confidence to take some bold decisions in life that we could otherwise hesitate to. It is believed that women especially in India live their whole life for someone else. From parents to husband to children, and by the time they realize this it is too late! All of us have some hidden desires that usually don’t come at the forefront. We are either too embarrassed to talk about it thinking what will he or she say! Or we are too scared to see others’ reactions to the same. There are so many incomplete wishes that women live with or rather die with!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE....
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
Talking about the employer, I don’t agree that you need something perfect to wear if he or she wants to see you in an hour! If this boss is a lady, then I’m sure she will go all green in her face with jealousy, and this jealousy will I’m sure do no good to your job. And if this boss is a gentleman then you might just turn him in to a devil by looking so good. Although I’m not a very fashion conscious person, I do feel that we should look impressive and carry ourselves well in a professional set up. As far as the date of your dream is concerned then yes, this tip will always be useful. A good outfit that fits you best can save a lot of time. We usually waste time deciding what to wear, and then accessorizing it takes us another millennium! Well this might be an exaggeration but don’t we often go to the extent of changing our outfit just because we have not found a good pair of earrings to compliment it or may be a nice hand bag with it??
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a youth she's content to leave behind and a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age........
I don’t know what it feels like to walk down the memory lane, as at 29 I think I have many years to walk out of my youth. But I know that when I leave my youth and enter the next stage of my life, I will be content to leave it behind and explore the refreshing tomorrow! I can say this with a lot of confidence because I’m trying to live my today on my own terms. I’m prepared to own up my mistakes as they are solely mine, and I’m geared up to celebrate all my successes as they are also exclusively mine!! A lot of people might be instrumental in both my mistakes and successes and I can’t thank them enough for the experiences they have given me. Now I better stop talking as if it is my fortieth birthday’s speech, but to sum it up all I can say is that if we live our today to the fullest, we can enter our tomorrow with a lot of zest and thirst for life!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
There are many people who make us laugh, but it is tough to find someone who lets you cry. Actually it is we who decide that it is great to have a good time and laugh with friends or family. But we think twice before we cry in front of our own friends or family. We fear losing our control in front of the people we love because we feel this might make them weak or make us weaker. We try to be strong and composed in trying times. But all of us need that special someone, a soul mate who can let us be what we are. Laugh in our good times and allow us to cry when we feel low. Do we have a friend like that????
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
This is so true. This reminds me of a dialogue from the famous movie “Taal” when Akshaye Khanna’s grandmother gives him a piece of advice. She says “Don’t fall in love, but rise in love.” This stands true for everyone whether a ‘Man’ or a ‘Woman’ we should all know how far we can go in a relationship. Or rather we should be well aware of how far our partner can go for us in a relationship. I don’t mean to say that our partner should be able to get the stars and moon for us, but he should be worth our emotions. And if not, then we should be sensible enough to realize this and move on. Some one very well said that one should not marry someone who only they love, but marry the one who loves you a lot!
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
Quitting a job, breaking with a lover and confronting a friend, all these acts have one thing in common which is speaking up for oneself. How often do we gather enough courage to speak up and stand by our beliefs? Out of all the above I think quitting a job must be easiest, as the stakes are the lowest, if we assume that there are many jobs in the market. Breaking up with a lover might be tougher. It is a long wait till we realize that we can’t tolerate a relationship beyond a point. Once we reach this point, we finally take a call. I think the toughest of all is to confront a friend, a friend whom we are so scared to lose. We all know how tough it is to find a true friend. We would rather forgive the friend and give him or her, another chance than confront him at the cost of losing him. But if we don’t confront, then we can never be heard. Any way, what good is a friend with whom we can’t share our views and speak our mind?
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...
It is so crucial to mark a line between our efforts and sheer waste of time. Now there have been scientists who have given their whole lives to invention, but here we are talking about working towards regular day to day needs. It is so important to know our limits and then act, so that we know that we are not wasting our time on some unrealistic goals and are able to carry on. It is so important to set realistic goals for ourselves, which can also help us to motivate ourselves time and again. Eg. If we decide to lose 10 kgs in three days, we will only be disheartened on the third day. This does not mean that we should give up on the idea of losing weight, but find alternative achievable ways of doing so by setting some realistic targets for ourselves.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
Length of our calves! I’m sure we can’t change. God has set a rule that our height is determined by our genes, so length of course we can’t! May be the width of our hips… as mentioned in my previous point, of setting realistic goals, and then of what good use will all the dieticians and gymn instructors be? And what will all the VLCCs and the Anjali Mukherji’s of the world do if they can’t change the width of our hips?? As far as the nature of our parents is concerned then, why parents, I think we cannot change any one’s nature on this universe. All we can do is influence minds.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
Only a loner can enjoy living alone. All of us want to come back home to a noisy fun-filled warm home. We all have families and none of us fear being left all alone. But in spite of the number of people in the family, a woman can be left alone to live her life. Many women come to such a juncture in their lives when they feel all alone. These women spend their lives fulfilling the needs of their near and dear ones. But then a time comes when all these close ones get busy with their own life, at this time, the vacuum starts settling in. it is so important then that we need to keep ourselves busy with either some hobby or some job. Or at least we learn to live alone or rather prepare ourselves for the solitude.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
Most women are known to be ‘emotional fools’. We get so carried away by the goodness of some people or we get so messed up if someone does not treat us right that we many a times undergo unnecessary trauma. I would say this is self inflicted trauma! It is good to have people around you who are nice to you. But it is equally important to read between lines and understand the reasons behind someone’s behaviour good or bad. I don’t mean to say that we should constantly be speculative or should always spy around, but we should be cautious of people who are extra nice with us. Of course the ones who mess up with us are the ones through whom we have the least of dangers, as they can’t get worse than what they are. At least this can save us from the strain that we put ourselves through.
I think by now all of you are pretty much sure that the writer is a woman. This was just an attempt to express my views on someone else’s thoughts. Many of you might find sense in it, while some think this was utter nonsense. All ladies reading this will sure see some glimpses of their own lives in it. If any of you have a different take on this poem do write in to me, as I would love to have another point of view on the same. Well I can only hope that the men have taken the pains of reaching the end of this article and not left it half way as here is a peep into the minds and hearts of all women! This might just help you know what women want and find your way to a woman’s heart. We all know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! But can this be a good navigation to the hearts of all women?
I don’t know if after reading this article you all will call me a feminist, though I don’t claim to be one, but a poem I read, has really caught my interest, therefore I thought I should share the poem along with my views on the same. Well I don’t know who has written it, but I’m sure this person has to be a woman, because it talks of WHAT a woman should HAVE and WHAT a woman should KNOW!! Actually on a second thought I don’t think it is a Poem as there are no rhyming words, (well at least that is my idea of a poem that the last two words of two consecutive lines should rhyme.) I might be wrong on my take of a poem, as I don’t consider myself that well acquainted with Poetry, This could be a list of some DO’s and DON’T’s or one-liners that the writer has created as set rules based on her experiences. I take the liberty to call this writer a ‘lady’ as I assume that the thoughts expressed are very much of a WOMAN, and if my assumption is by any means wrong, then I would be pleasantly surprised! WHY?
Well the writer starts by saying…
“A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny..”
OK, now I don’t think this is quite true as full control over destiny can only be a feeling, and one can never control destiny. So often the best laid plans don’t materialize the way we want them to. At that time we feel that everything was so perfect then what went wrong? And the answer to that is only DESTINY! Destiny always has planned something for us if all our plans are successful then we are in sync with destiny, and if not then, I would like to believe that Destiny has laid some better plans for us. Now that should not stop us from striving or fighting for what we want. But I’m sure it is nice to have a feeling of control over our own destiny. At least it makes us feel that it is only we, or our destiny that rules us, and no one else!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
Now I hope I’m not giving you all wrong ideas! But when we women are independent it gives us the confidence to take some bold decisions in life that we could otherwise hesitate to. It is believed that women especially in India live their whole life for someone else. From parents to husband to children, and by the time they realize this it is too late! All of us have some hidden desires that usually don’t come at the forefront. We are either too embarrassed to talk about it thinking what will he or she say! Or we are too scared to see others’ reactions to the same. There are so many incomplete wishes that women live with or rather die with!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE....
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
Talking about the employer, I don’t agree that you need something perfect to wear if he or she wants to see you in an hour! If this boss is a lady, then I’m sure she will go all green in her face with jealousy, and this jealousy will I’m sure do no good to your job. And if this boss is a gentleman then you might just turn him in to a devil by looking so good. Although I’m not a very fashion conscious person, I do feel that we should look impressive and carry ourselves well in a professional set up. As far as the date of your dream is concerned then yes, this tip will always be useful. A good outfit that fits you best can save a lot of time. We usually waste time deciding what to wear, and then accessorizing it takes us another millennium! Well this might be an exaggeration but don’t we often go to the extent of changing our outfit just because we have not found a good pair of earrings to compliment it or may be a nice hand bag with it??
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a youth she's content to leave behind and a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age........
I don’t know what it feels like to walk down the memory lane, as at 29 I think I have many years to walk out of my youth. But I know that when I leave my youth and enter the next stage of my life, I will be content to leave it behind and explore the refreshing tomorrow! I can say this with a lot of confidence because I’m trying to live my today on my own terms. I’m prepared to own up my mistakes as they are solely mine, and I’m geared up to celebrate all my successes as they are also exclusively mine!! A lot of people might be instrumental in both my mistakes and successes and I can’t thank them enough for the experiences they have given me. Now I better stop talking as if it is my fortieth birthday’s speech, but to sum it up all I can say is that if we live our today to the fullest, we can enter our tomorrow with a lot of zest and thirst for life!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
There are many people who make us laugh, but it is tough to find someone who lets you cry. Actually it is we who decide that it is great to have a good time and laugh with friends or family. But we think twice before we cry in front of our own friends or family. We fear losing our control in front of the people we love because we feel this might make them weak or make us weaker. We try to be strong and composed in trying times. But all of us need that special someone, a soul mate who can let us be what we are. Laugh in our good times and allow us to cry when we feel low. Do we have a friend like that????
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
This is so true. This reminds me of a dialogue from the famous movie “Taal” when Akshaye Khanna’s grandmother gives him a piece of advice. She says “Don’t fall in love, but rise in love.” This stands true for everyone whether a ‘Man’ or a ‘Woman’ we should all know how far we can go in a relationship. Or rather we should be well aware of how far our partner can go for us in a relationship. I don’t mean to say that our partner should be able to get the stars and moon for us, but he should be worth our emotions. And if not, then we should be sensible enough to realize this and move on. Some one very well said that one should not marry someone who only they love, but marry the one who loves you a lot!
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
Quitting a job, breaking with a lover and confronting a friend, all these acts have one thing in common which is speaking up for oneself. How often do we gather enough courage to speak up and stand by our beliefs? Out of all the above I think quitting a job must be easiest, as the stakes are the lowest, if we assume that there are many jobs in the market. Breaking up with a lover might be tougher. It is a long wait till we realize that we can’t tolerate a relationship beyond a point. Once we reach this point, we finally take a call. I think the toughest of all is to confront a friend, a friend whom we are so scared to lose. We all know how tough it is to find a true friend. We would rather forgive the friend and give him or her, another chance than confront him at the cost of losing him. But if we don’t confront, then we can never be heard. Any way, what good is a friend with whom we can’t share our views and speak our mind?
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...
It is so crucial to mark a line between our efforts and sheer waste of time. Now there have been scientists who have given their whole lives to invention, but here we are talking about working towards regular day to day needs. It is so important to know our limits and then act, so that we know that we are not wasting our time on some unrealistic goals and are able to carry on. It is so important to set realistic goals for ourselves, which can also help us to motivate ourselves time and again. Eg. If we decide to lose 10 kgs in three days, we will only be disheartened on the third day. This does not mean that we should give up on the idea of losing weight, but find alternative achievable ways of doing so by setting some realistic targets for ourselves.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
Length of our calves! I’m sure we can’t change. God has set a rule that our height is determined by our genes, so length of course we can’t! May be the width of our hips… as mentioned in my previous point, of setting realistic goals, and then of what good use will all the dieticians and gymn instructors be? And what will all the VLCCs and the Anjali Mukherji’s of the world do if they can’t change the width of our hips?? As far as the nature of our parents is concerned then, why parents, I think we cannot change any one’s nature on this universe. All we can do is influence minds.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
Only a loner can enjoy living alone. All of us want to come back home to a noisy fun-filled warm home. We all have families and none of us fear being left all alone. But in spite of the number of people in the family, a woman can be left alone to live her life. Many women come to such a juncture in their lives when they feel all alone. These women spend their lives fulfilling the needs of their near and dear ones. But then a time comes when all these close ones get busy with their own life, at this time, the vacuum starts settling in. it is so important then that we need to keep ourselves busy with either some hobby or some job. Or at least we learn to live alone or rather prepare ourselves for the solitude.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
Most women are known to be ‘emotional fools’. We get so carried away by the goodness of some people or we get so messed up if someone does not treat us right that we many a times undergo unnecessary trauma. I would say this is self inflicted trauma! It is good to have people around you who are nice to you. But it is equally important to read between lines and understand the reasons behind someone’s behaviour good or bad. I don’t mean to say that we should constantly be speculative or should always spy around, but we should be cautious of people who are extra nice with us. Of course the ones who mess up with us are the ones through whom we have the least of dangers, as they can’t get worse than what they are. At least this can save us from the strain that we put ourselves through.
I think by now all of you are pretty much sure that the writer is a woman. This was just an attempt to express my views on someone else’s thoughts. Many of you might find sense in it, while some think this was utter nonsense. All ladies reading this will sure see some glimpses of their own lives in it. If any of you have a different take on this poem do write in to me, as I would love to have another point of view on the same. Well I can only hope that the men have taken the pains of reaching the end of this article and not left it half way as here is a peep into the minds and hearts of all women! This might just help you know what women want and find your way to a woman’s heart. We all know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! But can this be a good navigation to the hearts of all women?
WE DON’T NEED THESE HOSTILE AUDITORS! PLEASE….Nov,2008
Suhasini Kaki had called me to discuss about a meeting that was scheduled to take place in the following week with the Prabhu Tarun Committee. That is when we also discussed some topics on which I could write my editorial. I had more or less finalized on it, and was planning to sit to write that same night. This was the fateful night of 26 November, 2008 when terror attacks shook Mumbai and the rest of the world. Ever since we heard the news of firing at Leopold Café, then the Taj and Oberoi & Trident hotel, we were all glued to the television sets showing the latest update on this incident.
Those few hours at home watching all the latest developments of this case, have left such a massive impact on my mind, that the mention of this terror strike was inevitable in my editorial, and I have actually lost hope on myself on writing something that I had originally selected. By merely watching those dreadful video clippings if I can get so disturbed, then I cant even imagine what all those families are going through who have lost their loved ones. Some had waited for three full days in anxiety and a little hope that their family member would walk out of these hotels safely, only to see their dead bodies later. Those brave men who gave their lives to make this world a better place for all of us to live, have left their families with sheer memories and a few words of adulation that would last till these horrifying memories of the attack would last in everyone’s minds. We can only hope that with time these families are able to gather themselves and move on.
We have seen films that show an army officer or a policeman’s wife or mother saying that when he leaves for work everyday, she is not sure if he will come back home safely! This is such a clichéd dialogue, but tragically it has become a hard reality for not just the men in the ‘khaki’ uniform, but for all of us. Especially this episode has further instilled fear in people’s minds as these terror attacks are not necessarily happening in crowded areas like malls or stations, but they can happen anywhere and at anytime! The terrorist no more looks like an Osama, he looks like you and me. He is educated so is able to rationally plan his modus operandi. He is equipped with better arms and ammunitions and has the back up of deep pockets who only aim at destruction. It may not be wrong to say that ‘Terrorism’ has become a profession for some of these fanatics.
Terrorism is an evil that the whole world is fighting with. But our struggle goes deeper with every individual combating with the latest recession that has hit the global economy. I must admit that I am not too well acquainted with the recent market and economic conditions that reflect a down trend. I don’t even know how badly India is hit by this recession. Some say that India is only taking precautionary measures, and the actual downfall is not yet begun! But I have seen people losing their jobs! All companies are trying to cut costs and maximize their existing resources. I hale from the media industry, which has probably taken a huge hit with advertising budgets slashing down. Internal pressure is right now at its peak. With no jobs in the market, all employers are taking liberty of passing off any verdict that suits their convenience. So many careers are at jeopardy. I have myself seen people drastically revising their plans whether at a personal level or on the professional front to be able to manage life in these trying times! This is a difficult phase, but ultimately it is just a phase and will fade off with time. But a good crisis management will help everyone sail through this storm smoothly.
But however resilient we are and show the best of crisis management abilities, if our support system is weak, we might not be able to stand strong through this ordeal. For all of us our support system comprises of our families, society, and community and of course our professional circle. However hard life turns for us, we always turn to our families for that warmth, solace and comfort. Our friends and the society at large help us forget all our regular pressures and problems in life. They give us a momentary distraction from our regular chores and help us enjoy all the small pleasures of life. We Pathare Prabhus are very fortunate that our families extend to our community. We have a great community with a strong sense of belonging. The members of this community are forever trying to keep this sense of belonging alive in every PP. Various institutions active in this community are doing some great job. They are instrumental in keeping our cultural selves alive. These institutions will forever help us distract our minds towards the small pleasures that we so badly need. Apart from helping us in adding some colour to our monotonous lives, they are also working towards various social objectives, whether it is for the poor, or the helpless women population of our community, or for the education of some of the less privileged folks, or towards salutation of some of the merit holders, they are pouring their hearts and minds in making their institutions worthy enough of our applaud.
Recent awards function organized by the Pathare Prabhu Charities, the Dandiya Raas organized by Mahila Samaj, the special tribute to late Mr. Pramod Navalkar that was held on November 23 and many more such functions are proof of the splendid job our institutions are doing. I have not been able to attend all these events personally, but the general feedback that I got from some of my friends is a good testimony of the success of these events. We should give due credit to all the people working behind the scenes to make these occasions a success. It is very interesting to know that all these institutions have a team of workers and all these teams have a distinctive way of functioning. They have their own rules and regulations and within the premise of these rules they have to plan their activities. Of course everyone may not be aware of the foundation on which they work, but as responsible members of the community it is vital for us to trust these committees on the work they do. This will only help us remain united and function together, not dividing the community in smaller parties endorsing a certain group of committee. The youngsters today are not even aware of the anguish some seniors have between themselves. It is critical for all to know that digging old graves time and again can only create animosity and breed hatred amongst our own people. Why classify this community in sections of people working just for a Prabhu Tarun, or Prabhu Prabhat. Why do we always hear these statements that “Oh she! She will only work for Mahila Samaj and nobody else?” Why does an institution question the credibility of the other, giving rise to further cold wars? If this does not end, we will never have consistent, young blood working with us. There are so many bigger issues in life, there are so many grave concerns that our younger generations are facing. Peer pressures, pressure in careers, sheer survival is in question, then why are such petty issues made so big. Let the killer instinct in our youths be saved for the big bad world outside, and not be used within our own families. I think there is much more to life than just cribbing on trivial issues. Let these talented minds blossom without any baggage dumped by the senior members.
The point I have been trying to bring home is that there are certain people who feel the need to change things at different levels. They are trying to contribute in their own small way. While it is important to appreciate these efforts, it is also important to introspect and add value to their efforts. As much as I would not like to sound preachy, I still would like to say that we have to change our attitude first towards all these people who have taken on this mantle of making a difference. If we can trust them, we will be able to add value to their efforts. These people could have easily chosen not to do anything, and no one would say a word to them. But they have chosen to make a difference because they believe they can. We have to trust this belief and contribute equally. I would like to end by saying that we have many trouble creators within us who are always hunting for reasons to criticise and are self proclaimed auditors who can only harness disharmony. My sincere suggestion to all of them is that WE DON’T NEED THESE HOSTILE AUDITORS! PLEASE….
Those few hours at home watching all the latest developments of this case, have left such a massive impact on my mind, that the mention of this terror strike was inevitable in my editorial, and I have actually lost hope on myself on writing something that I had originally selected. By merely watching those dreadful video clippings if I can get so disturbed, then I cant even imagine what all those families are going through who have lost their loved ones. Some had waited for three full days in anxiety and a little hope that their family member would walk out of these hotels safely, only to see their dead bodies later. Those brave men who gave their lives to make this world a better place for all of us to live, have left their families with sheer memories and a few words of adulation that would last till these horrifying memories of the attack would last in everyone’s minds. We can only hope that with time these families are able to gather themselves and move on.
We have seen films that show an army officer or a policeman’s wife or mother saying that when he leaves for work everyday, she is not sure if he will come back home safely! This is such a clichéd dialogue, but tragically it has become a hard reality for not just the men in the ‘khaki’ uniform, but for all of us. Especially this episode has further instilled fear in people’s minds as these terror attacks are not necessarily happening in crowded areas like malls or stations, but they can happen anywhere and at anytime! The terrorist no more looks like an Osama, he looks like you and me. He is educated so is able to rationally plan his modus operandi. He is equipped with better arms and ammunitions and has the back up of deep pockets who only aim at destruction. It may not be wrong to say that ‘Terrorism’ has become a profession for some of these fanatics.
Terrorism is an evil that the whole world is fighting with. But our struggle goes deeper with every individual combating with the latest recession that has hit the global economy. I must admit that I am not too well acquainted with the recent market and economic conditions that reflect a down trend. I don’t even know how badly India is hit by this recession. Some say that India is only taking precautionary measures, and the actual downfall is not yet begun! But I have seen people losing their jobs! All companies are trying to cut costs and maximize their existing resources. I hale from the media industry, which has probably taken a huge hit with advertising budgets slashing down. Internal pressure is right now at its peak. With no jobs in the market, all employers are taking liberty of passing off any verdict that suits their convenience. So many careers are at jeopardy. I have myself seen people drastically revising their plans whether at a personal level or on the professional front to be able to manage life in these trying times! This is a difficult phase, but ultimately it is just a phase and will fade off with time. But a good crisis management will help everyone sail through this storm smoothly.
But however resilient we are and show the best of crisis management abilities, if our support system is weak, we might not be able to stand strong through this ordeal. For all of us our support system comprises of our families, society, and community and of course our professional circle. However hard life turns for us, we always turn to our families for that warmth, solace and comfort. Our friends and the society at large help us forget all our regular pressures and problems in life. They give us a momentary distraction from our regular chores and help us enjoy all the small pleasures of life. We Pathare Prabhus are very fortunate that our families extend to our community. We have a great community with a strong sense of belonging. The members of this community are forever trying to keep this sense of belonging alive in every PP. Various institutions active in this community are doing some great job. They are instrumental in keeping our cultural selves alive. These institutions will forever help us distract our minds towards the small pleasures that we so badly need. Apart from helping us in adding some colour to our monotonous lives, they are also working towards various social objectives, whether it is for the poor, or the helpless women population of our community, or for the education of some of the less privileged folks, or towards salutation of some of the merit holders, they are pouring their hearts and minds in making their institutions worthy enough of our applaud.
Recent awards function organized by the Pathare Prabhu Charities, the Dandiya Raas organized by Mahila Samaj, the special tribute to late Mr. Pramod Navalkar that was held on November 23 and many more such functions are proof of the splendid job our institutions are doing. I have not been able to attend all these events personally, but the general feedback that I got from some of my friends is a good testimony of the success of these events. We should give due credit to all the people working behind the scenes to make these occasions a success. It is very interesting to know that all these institutions have a team of workers and all these teams have a distinctive way of functioning. They have their own rules and regulations and within the premise of these rules they have to plan their activities. Of course everyone may not be aware of the foundation on which they work, but as responsible members of the community it is vital for us to trust these committees on the work they do. This will only help us remain united and function together, not dividing the community in smaller parties endorsing a certain group of committee. The youngsters today are not even aware of the anguish some seniors have between themselves. It is critical for all to know that digging old graves time and again can only create animosity and breed hatred amongst our own people. Why classify this community in sections of people working just for a Prabhu Tarun, or Prabhu Prabhat. Why do we always hear these statements that “Oh she! She will only work for Mahila Samaj and nobody else?” Why does an institution question the credibility of the other, giving rise to further cold wars? If this does not end, we will never have consistent, young blood working with us. There are so many bigger issues in life, there are so many grave concerns that our younger generations are facing. Peer pressures, pressure in careers, sheer survival is in question, then why are such petty issues made so big. Let the killer instinct in our youths be saved for the big bad world outside, and not be used within our own families. I think there is much more to life than just cribbing on trivial issues. Let these talented minds blossom without any baggage dumped by the senior members.
The point I have been trying to bring home is that there are certain people who feel the need to change things at different levels. They are trying to contribute in their own small way. While it is important to appreciate these efforts, it is also important to introspect and add value to their efforts. As much as I would not like to sound preachy, I still would like to say that we have to change our attitude first towards all these people who have taken on this mantle of making a difference. If we can trust them, we will be able to add value to their efforts. These people could have easily chosen not to do anything, and no one would say a word to them. But they have chosen to make a difference because they believe they can. We have to trust this belief and contribute equally. I would like to end by saying that we have many trouble creators within us who are always hunting for reasons to criticise and are self proclaimed auditors who can only harness disharmony. My sincere suggestion to all of them is that WE DON’T NEED THESE HOSTILE AUDITORS! PLEASE….
In Baba's Memory - July, 2008
It was June 6, 2008, a normal Friday evening. I returned from work and the scene was not too different from any other day. My son Shaurya was as usual up to his regular masti, and aie was busy in the kitchen. Baba was sitting with an LIC agent finalising some new schemes. Conveniently ignoring the LIC agent I was heading towards my bedroom when baba called me. He immediately asked me to sit with him and told the agent to hand over all my policies to me and said now you take responsibility of all your policies, and start keeping a track of everything, I don’t want to do this for both (Gunjarav and myself) of you now on, please be responsible and take over. He also mentioned a new policy that he had himself bought for Shaurya and very proudly he said, “Ten years later when this policy matures, tell Shaurya that his ‘ajoba’ had kept this money for him.” Shunting off this comment I said, “Baba its only ten years na, you only hand over this money to him then.” Without wasting a minute he replied, “dahaa varsha koni baghitli aahet, tu pahilya responsibility ghe, nantar cha mag pudhe baghu.” All this discussion just two days before that disastrous day, was this some kind of a premonition or a result of his style of working and planning everything very systematically?
There was a lot worth learning from baba. I have never seen anyone managing time better than the way he would. Forever juggling between his shootings, theatre, official and social (Prabhu Tarun) commitments, he was the busiest amongst all at home. Still if there was no fish for dinner or no mangoes at home during the season, we would all point our fingers to him. His participation in all household chores was so strong that in the middle of his rehearsals he would call home and check if the plumber or electrician has come. Even if aie and I are planning a visit to the supermarket, he would call to check if everything is happening as per schedule. There would never be a day I’m sure when aie, Gunjar or my cell phone did not have his number in the answered calls list. His ability to think of some other work while he is doing another, and managing both the tasks so efficiently was brilliant! In fact till date I have never been able to figure our when he would squeeze in time to write his monthly editorials for Prabhu Tarun.
His shooting schedule for the daily soap on Zee Marathi, Avghachi Savnsaar would keep him very busy. As we all know, he got a lot of recognition after this serial. He became a household name in all the marathi homes. Not only his talent was recognised but his popularity as Mohite Guruji or Asavari’s baba had increased so much that people would stop him in malls, and different places for a quick photograph with Mohite guruji. Our last trip together was to Alibaug, the kind of respect he got from people in Alibaug was commendable! We all got special treatment because of his celebrity status. Even in Mumbai he had gained a lot of popularity. I remember one funny incident, he and I had gone to one of the banks for some work. We both were busy with the officer there, that suddenly I noticed from one corner, there were these ladies peeping one after the other to take a quick glance at the celebrity with me. Every time I would look at them they would hide behind. Baba was completely oblivious to what was happening behind him. But I was completely distracted by these ladies. When baba noticed that I was not following his instructions he looked at me and then turned around to see where my attention was. As soon as he looked at these ladies, they got so excited that they just couldn’t control their happiness they all just ran away as if they had seen Hrithik Roshan! He went and met all his fans later. Very proudly he told me see how popular your father in law is, now go home and tell everyone this incident! Very obediently I told everyone “you know who had come to the bank today? – Hrithik Roshan!”
Last year March, baba had to under go a bypass surgery, much against his wishes. He being so fond of food, the toughest part for him after the surgery was to maintain a strict diet. The only time both of us must have ever argued was this whole of last year that also only on one point that is his diet. I would constantly pester him to control his oil intake. His favourite snack items were chicken pattice, chicken rolls, samosas, burgers, bhajis, etc. which he would buy on his way back home. And on days when he wanted to pretend that he was very diet conscious he would bring home sandwiches and ask me, now I hope there is no problem in eating a sandwich. On Mondays he would insist on getting sev puri for evening snacks, and I would insist that he eats Sukhi bhel. Then like a kid he used to say “but I don’t like eating sukhi bhel!” Off late I had gone on a diet spree, so he would specially get water melons for me, and would also accompany me to eat them. He had found a new mantra for keeping fit, he would eat only watermelon and soup for dinner, and would say that now we should not complain about his diet. After his bypass surgery he had developed a special liking towards Red Wine, whenever he felt like having a glass of wine he would offer all of us also, so that we were all, his partners in crime!
This January 2008, we celebrated our third wedding anniversary. Three years back like any other girl I began a new life in a new family. All girls are very apprehensive of this new journey after marriage, and so was I. But aie and baba have been instrumental in making this journey a very pleasant and enjoyable one for me. I knew baba even before marriage but some of his attributes came at the forefront in the last three years of my experience with him. He did everything possible to make me feel comfortable at home immediately after marriage. I was so surprised seeing how emotional a person he was. A very witty and sensitive person, he would always keep the house alive with his funny comments and constant advice and sometimes complains. Even if he was not home, he would constantly call to keep a check on all of us. I spent three years of my married life as his daughter, I feel sad that three years is all I had with him as his daughter.
But I feel worse when I think of Shaurya, that one and a half year is all he got to experience his ajoba’s caring and loving shelter. Talking about their relationship, well we all know that grandparents bring special warmth in any child’s life. And Shaurya’s grandparents are no different. Although baba would hardly get time to spend with him, whatever time he would be at home, he would spend it with him, actually out of no choice, as Shaurya would force his attention. They had their own regular sessions together, whether in the morning when I would leave for work, or at night when it was baba’s time to eat his regular dose of tablets, Shaurya would stubbornly ask him to give all the tablets in his hand, and then he would give each tablet to ajoba to eat. I would always grumble that baba doesn’t scold him and he pampers him a lot, but baba would never pay any heed to my nagging. Shaurya is in fact a very big fan of all his commercials, even today he loves watching ajoba eating a pizza and drinking tea in the commercials, and his hot favourite is ajoba’s serial’s title track! Baba was gifted a decorative piece that had a saying which he was very fond of, and very proudly displayed it in our home. The saying read-“Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things” Shaurya will surely miss his ajoba in his growing years!
Well ever since baba passed away, we have received innumerable letters from so many friends, relatives and our well wishers extending their support and condolences. Many distinguished names from the entertainment industry also wrote about him in marathi news papers. I take this opportunity to thank every one who has expressed their support in our grief, it means a lot to all of us. Piyush Pandey, a very big name in the advertising industry quoted in a renowned advertising magazine called Campaign India a few words of appreciation about baba. He said, “The world of acting has lost a phenomenon.” Baba would have been so proud to know. Yes indeed the world of acting has lost a phenomenon, but what all of us have lost can’t be expressed enough in words
There was a lot worth learning from baba. I have never seen anyone managing time better than the way he would. Forever juggling between his shootings, theatre, official and social (Prabhu Tarun) commitments, he was the busiest amongst all at home. Still if there was no fish for dinner or no mangoes at home during the season, we would all point our fingers to him. His participation in all household chores was so strong that in the middle of his rehearsals he would call home and check if the plumber or electrician has come. Even if aie and I are planning a visit to the supermarket, he would call to check if everything is happening as per schedule. There would never be a day I’m sure when aie, Gunjar or my cell phone did not have his number in the answered calls list. His ability to think of some other work while he is doing another, and managing both the tasks so efficiently was brilliant! In fact till date I have never been able to figure our when he would squeeze in time to write his monthly editorials for Prabhu Tarun.
His shooting schedule for the daily soap on Zee Marathi, Avghachi Savnsaar would keep him very busy. As we all know, he got a lot of recognition after this serial. He became a household name in all the marathi homes. Not only his talent was recognised but his popularity as Mohite Guruji or Asavari’s baba had increased so much that people would stop him in malls, and different places for a quick photograph with Mohite guruji. Our last trip together was to Alibaug, the kind of respect he got from people in Alibaug was commendable! We all got special treatment because of his celebrity status. Even in Mumbai he had gained a lot of popularity. I remember one funny incident, he and I had gone to one of the banks for some work. We both were busy with the officer there, that suddenly I noticed from one corner, there were these ladies peeping one after the other to take a quick glance at the celebrity with me. Every time I would look at them they would hide behind. Baba was completely oblivious to what was happening behind him. But I was completely distracted by these ladies. When baba noticed that I was not following his instructions he looked at me and then turned around to see where my attention was. As soon as he looked at these ladies, they got so excited that they just couldn’t control their happiness they all just ran away as if they had seen Hrithik Roshan! He went and met all his fans later. Very proudly he told me see how popular your father in law is, now go home and tell everyone this incident! Very obediently I told everyone “you know who had come to the bank today? – Hrithik Roshan!”
Last year March, baba had to under go a bypass surgery, much against his wishes. He being so fond of food, the toughest part for him after the surgery was to maintain a strict diet. The only time both of us must have ever argued was this whole of last year that also only on one point that is his diet. I would constantly pester him to control his oil intake. His favourite snack items were chicken pattice, chicken rolls, samosas, burgers, bhajis, etc. which he would buy on his way back home. And on days when he wanted to pretend that he was very diet conscious he would bring home sandwiches and ask me, now I hope there is no problem in eating a sandwich. On Mondays he would insist on getting sev puri for evening snacks, and I would insist that he eats Sukhi bhel. Then like a kid he used to say “but I don’t like eating sukhi bhel!” Off late I had gone on a diet spree, so he would specially get water melons for me, and would also accompany me to eat them. He had found a new mantra for keeping fit, he would eat only watermelon and soup for dinner, and would say that now we should not complain about his diet. After his bypass surgery he had developed a special liking towards Red Wine, whenever he felt like having a glass of wine he would offer all of us also, so that we were all, his partners in crime!
This January 2008, we celebrated our third wedding anniversary. Three years back like any other girl I began a new life in a new family. All girls are very apprehensive of this new journey after marriage, and so was I. But aie and baba have been instrumental in making this journey a very pleasant and enjoyable one for me. I knew baba even before marriage but some of his attributes came at the forefront in the last three years of my experience with him. He did everything possible to make me feel comfortable at home immediately after marriage. I was so surprised seeing how emotional a person he was. A very witty and sensitive person, he would always keep the house alive with his funny comments and constant advice and sometimes complains. Even if he was not home, he would constantly call to keep a check on all of us. I spent three years of my married life as his daughter, I feel sad that three years is all I had with him as his daughter.
But I feel worse when I think of Shaurya, that one and a half year is all he got to experience his ajoba’s caring and loving shelter. Talking about their relationship, well we all know that grandparents bring special warmth in any child’s life. And Shaurya’s grandparents are no different. Although baba would hardly get time to spend with him, whatever time he would be at home, he would spend it with him, actually out of no choice, as Shaurya would force his attention. They had their own regular sessions together, whether in the morning when I would leave for work, or at night when it was baba’s time to eat his regular dose of tablets, Shaurya would stubbornly ask him to give all the tablets in his hand, and then he would give each tablet to ajoba to eat. I would always grumble that baba doesn’t scold him and he pampers him a lot, but baba would never pay any heed to my nagging. Shaurya is in fact a very big fan of all his commercials, even today he loves watching ajoba eating a pizza and drinking tea in the commercials, and his hot favourite is ajoba’s serial’s title track! Baba was gifted a decorative piece that had a saying which he was very fond of, and very proudly displayed it in our home. The saying read-“Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things” Shaurya will surely miss his ajoba in his growing years!
Well ever since baba passed away, we have received innumerable letters from so many friends, relatives and our well wishers extending their support and condolences. Many distinguished names from the entertainment industry also wrote about him in marathi news papers. I take this opportunity to thank every one who has expressed their support in our grief, it means a lot to all of us. Piyush Pandey, a very big name in the advertising industry quoted in a renowned advertising magazine called Campaign India a few words of appreciation about baba. He said, “The world of acting has lost a phenomenon.” Baba would have been so proud to know. Yes indeed the world of acting has lost a phenomenon, but what all of us have lost can’t be expressed enough in words
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