“In order to impact my world the way I wanted to impact it, I was going to have to become a woman of substance.” – Susan Meier (Author)
What defines a woman of substance? I think a woman of substance is someone who by sheer living makes a difference in this world. She is the one who attempts and fails, but does not mull over the failure! She is the one who can lead unconditionally! She is NOT a spectator but she is the EXECUTOR who is willing to stand by her decisions however wrong they may go! For her family and friends, SHE is a part of the SOLUTION.
We often misunderstand a Woman of Substance to be the same as a Career Woman. A woman need not be a career woman to become a ‘woman of substance’. There are many women I know who are struggling to find their identity in the corporate world, while that does not stop them from being the women of substance, a working status does not qualify them to be one either. A woman proves her metal at home by being the perfect homemaker, multi-tasking between the kitchen and the kids and others in the family! She is the one who moulds the children in the house, helps them grow and become better and successful human beings! For a homemaker her job is well done if she has successfully fulfilled her duties towards her family keeping her own identity intact. Duties she easily fulfills but she often forgets to prioritize her own needs and desires, losing her identity in the bargain. Being a homemaker is a 24/7 job, therefore it is very crucial for her to voice her personal priorities, do the things she likes which give her satisfaction. She has to have her own world which gives her enough space to move out of the mundane. I know of women who are homemakers and still take time out, this is their “ME” time! They run classes, or join hobby classes, do gardening, charity, explore places, meditate, cook, paint, decorate their house or even clean their house! But they certainly do not sit at home and pity their state and expect empathy in return. These women know to respect themselves and their time and therefore command respect from others as well. Many of us when asked to name one “woman of substance” we know, will name our own mothers! These mothers are the ones who have got IT right! That makes them efficient, effective at the same time happy individuals! And after all, A happy homemaker makes a happy home!
Yes indeed homemakers are role models in their own way, but we cannot leave the ‘corporate woman’ out from this discussion. The status of women has been subject to many great changes over the past few millennia especially in India. In modern India, women have adorned high offices on the corporate as well as political front and have contributed to some of the most path-breaking success stories in the history of Corporate India. There is no doubt that we are in the midst of a great revolution in the history of women.
But the corporate world does not change rules by gender, therefore today; a woman has to be as tough as a man to prove her metal here! She has to fight preconceived notions that she will compromise on work because of her commitments at home. Or that she will NOT be able to physically manage the job like the way men do it! Rather there are men and sadly even some women who think that a woman is best where she deserves to be i.e. home! Now that’s nasty!
By nature women are great at multi-tasking, when at home they can gossip over the phone while watching a TV serial! They can run through their child’s studies while setting up the washing machine! They can cook as well as instruct the house helpers about their daily chores! In short while men at home boast about being uni-functional devices, which they so proudly claim if asked to contribute in household chores, women seem to be the best bet in the corporate world, if they have the right opportunity to prove their talent and use this same multi-tasking ability at work. And with time women have successfully found their foothold in the corporate world, and climbed to the topmost rung of the corporate ladder, far above the glass ceiling, shattering it to smithereens. From Shehnaz Hussain & Indira Nooyi, to Chanda Kochar women have proved that they are here to widen their own horizons and enrich the corporate world with what they have to offer. Like them, many women today have understood their scope and identified their area of expertise in whichever field they opt. Today, a woman does not mind doing that extra struggle juggling between her home and work, if at the end of the day she has mental satisfaction through work and peace through her home. She is independent and there for a cause! She has a point of view in the decisions both at work and at home, and she loves her struggle and her “no time for nonsense” status as her focus is well defined. Every such woman in my eyes is a woman of substance. She knows what she wants and also knows how far she can go to achieve it and then relentlessly works towards her goals!
International Women's Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women: past, present and future. While I believe that we co-exist with men and do not need such days to celebrate US, I also feel that such days give us a reason to look within ourselves and appreciate ourselves for what we are. May be the men think it is not fair to have a special day for us, and we don’t have such MEN’s days to celebrate them! But for all you men out there, on this very occasion of the upcoming women’s day go ahead and wish at least two women who you think are “women of substance” giving them reasons why you feel so, and you shall be made to feel SPECIAL for the rest of your lives ! This suggestion coming from another woman cannot be futile! Try it and you will realize that women are those special species on this earth that can make your lifetime as special as you like it! If you are still not convinced then let me conclude and remind you of a song written by a MAN dedicated to all WOMEN describing them! And the song goes…..
She’s Always a Woman to Me
- Billy Joel
Oh--she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh--and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind
She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Excellent writing. I may not agree with all that you have written and in fact may anti polar sentiments on some of the statements that you made but I liked reading the article a lot. Your writing style is wonderful and smooth.
ReplyDeletehey,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you actually took time out to read it!! well thanks for the compliment on my writing,... as far as the point of view is concerned we may love to disagree on many issues ... so take time out and read my other articles too so that we can have a outlook-bashing session between us !!! hhehee
You sound like a breathless suffragette who is standing on a soapbox and making her pitch b4 the crowd melts away. Post WW II and even during the war, women started contributing substantially to worldly matters.MCPs reluctantly at first but out of necessity later on, had 2 acknowledge this. As communication barriers broke down, it no longer became an issue about woman’s sole role as a homemaker or a substantial contributor to societal matters. Women’s EMANCIPATION was a fait accompli in the second half of the last century. Today in the second decade of the new century, with the glass ceiling broken in almost all fields, it is no longer necessary for any women to prove her"mettle". Barring a few inward looking societies, a women in any field today should have no compulsion to enter into an” I have to PROVE MYSELF" CONTEST. By no means is this an attempt 2 disparage your views. But only 2 reiterate the fact that WOMAN ARE NO LONGER THE SECOND SEX (at least not in those circles who are an audience for this blog) Ranjankaka
ReplyDeleteThis is in no way a desperate attempt to propagate womanhood.... while i agree that there are a way too large a number of pple who would not consider women as 'second sex'. But my article only talks about women at home and at work who have proved themselves worthy enough to be called a "woman of substance" as per my idea of a woman of substance! which in no way needs a counter argument that you have put forth as i simply agree with most of your thought process!
ReplyDeleteBut having read ur point of view that women no longer need to prove their "mettle", Well I dont know which society would we fall in, because i personally know a lot of girls who have had to either take a slow pace at work, or take a complete back seat to look after their family and kids however talented they are! barring exceptions, in our society we still need an outlook change that MAN needs to prioritize his work before HIS WOMAN! I know of many ladies who have made it big but a lot of times, what prices they have had to pay for it are never known to the outside world!
havent you heard of instances where the wife gives up her career to be with her husband who's work takes him to another country or city or state?
And how often have u heard of a man following his wife to her work destination?
I took a sabatical for a year and a half after my son was born! and surprisingly all females from my batch are sailing in the same boat as me, while my male batchmates are now atleast 2 years senior in designation!
I was fortunate to be able to strike back at work, but a lot of my colleagues have not been able to! And I am fortunate because my family supports me, but again a point to be noted that even I need my family's support to be able to have a career, without which, I would be probably sitting at home and babysitting my son, which most indian ladies still do!
when there is a no option situation where the wife HAS to work for financial reasons, she is ever juggling between her home and work! and when that necessity is not there (as in my case, or you could take an example of every girl that we know in common!) it is very easily decided that she should take a break to meet her domestic needs!
I have known my colleagues who have wanted to stay back in different cities to pursue their careers allowing their husbands to travel where their work takes them, but they still havent had the go ahead and are still sulking in their posh houses in singapore and australia because their husbands think that financially they dont need that extra income.
And if we think we come from an evolved and rather liberated society then imagine what happens to the large majority of non-metro cities?
Chauvinism is a silent characteristic present in most men (not all) and sadly it is more so a norm of the indian society.
We see many women achievers today which make us believe that times have changed! But a large section of women who could have made it big, just have not got the opportunity to do so! And this Number is very high for me to agree with you that women have equal opportunities. Yes and where they have had the opportunities, they are carving their niche which even I have rightly mentioned!
To sum it up, there still needs a radical change in our thinking, even at our levels to reach a point where we could say that both man and woman have the same opportunities in the corporate world! Yes there have been women who have made it big, and that number is increasing, but it's a long journey before us, before we say that "I dont need to prove myself"
Nice article Moya. I agree with both you and Ranjan Kaka -- women don't need to prove that they are as good as men, it's taken for granted, and there are examples all around us. But it's absolutely true that it's harder for women to balance a career and family. What is the right balance is a very individual decision.
ReplyDeleteI don't think your article is feminist at all, it seems more common-sensical than anything else. Unfortunately, it's a reflection of society in India that such thoughts need to be expressed at all, and that they are labeled "feminist".
Well written article and clearly something you feel strongly about.
Moya, very well written. Your articles are always so well structured, I enjoyed reading this one too. It is an art to be able to pen down your thoughts and make it an interesting article. well done!!
ReplyDeleteWhenever anyone talks about promoting career women & male chauvinism, they are always labeled 'feminist'. I feel that your article is not trying to prove that 'woman are not the second sex', it is not at all a comparison between men and women. Actually, it doesnt talk about men at all.
I feel that your article emphasizes on "woman of substance", whether its woman in the corporate world or a homemaker. You have very well given a message that all the lovely ladies who are looking after home, family and kids are not just 'house wives', but they are 'homemakers'. Yes, I do agree that it is always challenging for a woman to juggle between career and home. We are lucky to have families who encourage us to go ahead in our respective careers. But, i definitely know some friends/relations who have to give up their career because of lack of support from family.
This is a good discussion, and can go on and on....I gotto rush to drop my son to school:-)..there goes the juggle..:-)
Moya, well written and keep writing.
Hey, Abhi dada, yes you are right, such issues are more prevalent in India, and my thoughts definitely represent them.
ReplyDeleteTai, some of us have been lucky to have been able to stick on to our jobs and aspirations! However it is time that will tell how long we can continue this....
Thanks both of you for appreciating my article...
Hi Moya !
ReplyDeleteVery well written article. You seem to express your views rather strongly or atleast use words which might make the reader feel as such. I could argue with you about a few statments you make, but by and large you conveyed very well the essence of this blog. Look forward to reading many more such articles from you.
thanks Akshay!!! u must express ur points of disagreement.... sadly I've had only one woman - tai commenting on my article and all others are men, and you all have a level of disagreement attached! It may not be gender biased but so far that's the trend!!
ReplyDeletekeep posting!!!
My interpretation of the term "woman of substance" lifts the woman much higher than the platform, where we would normally place "highly successful women"
ReplyDeleteWhile highly successful women are usually associated with say, having to work against odds, hard work,competition in male dominated society, and then, success in form of wealth, fame and so on, one single element may be still be elusive. This is the "depth of impact", her actions have had on the world around her.
By definition, as described in your opening lines, the sole word "impact" has tonnes of importance.
For eg I would classify Liz Taylor, Madhuri Dixit, Kochar, Nuvy as highly successful women. These ladies have done well in their respective fields and hence are known to be highly successful.
How would these compare with Hellen Keller, Indira Gandhi,Mother Teresa, Medha Patkar, Sudha Murthy. Consider the impact these ladies have had on the world around them . Why, even our great teachers in school fall in this category. And to say the least, what about the influence of great authors?
I hope I have been able to bring out my concept of a "woman of substance"
Further, it's my observation that, memories of women of substance are rarely eroded by time and as such this is the real sign of their qualifying in this category.
@baba, well explained... I agree with you ocmpletely... that a "woman of substance" is above her career and is recognized and remembered for the impact she had on the world around her.
ReplyDeletewell writen as usual. Ladies you have mentioned and the ones others who read the article has named women of substance are the ladies who are mouleded by a women again.
ReplyDeleteLadies are definately more strong minded and thats the reason they are succesful in male dominated country. Even today we see posters "Mulgi shikali pragati zali". The fact that you a working women felt like writing on this topic proves your point.Very good keep writing.
yes Aie... I strongly believe that every woman has a potential of being "of substance" provided she makes full use of resources available around her to impact the world around her, which could impact the world in many ways and in various roles as a mother, politician, social worker, corporate woman, or for that matter as baba rightly puts forth an entertainer!
ReplyDeletehey...moya...kudos to the emancipated one........ really relished ur unfoldment of the woman of substance...sure was a mental fiesta......bravo....proud of u, dear.....
ReplyDeletei've grown up hearing....reading these words .. BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN THERE IS A WOMAN ......so a woman can either choose to be a home- maker or a home- breaker ....if she translates her presence to being the former ...wow...sure enough she is the physical,emotional,social,moral n financial backbone of her family.....Women in the past ...have absolutely carved a permanent niche for themselves in the hearts and minds of one and all...some very silently.. like the unsung heroes of the war....examples are countless... a standing ovation and a big salute to all those women of yesteryear who exhibited strength,valour and sacrifice but with dentless vigour anf firm determination to achieve their goals.....To-day's woman has emerged from behind the masculine wall and stands tall in her achievements and meritorious accolades...
In my opinion, a woman has the capability to pluck the shining stars and make her family proud .....BUT happens merrily in accompanimeny of the unconditional support, consistent encouragement,undying faith,loving understanding n timely guidance and advice by the family members...
Undoubtedly,i'm lucky,happy,grateful n blessed to be a part of such a supportive familial network..here, i respectfully bow down before my( late) in-laws and my(late)parents and seek their blessings.who 've made me feel happy to be a WOMAN ...and my dear hubby,my son,my daughter(in-law) and my dear grandson who continue to shower the WOMAN with loads of warm caring and adorable substance ..... lov u all..!
moya...before exiting from your blog...i wish to remind my ever thinking-reading audience....THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE RULES THE WORLD.......
.....DEEPASHRY KOTHARE
sorry ...moya ... tis accompaniment...excuse the blunder....deepashry
ReplyDeletea good cushioning to my thoughts!!! thanks Mummy...
ReplyDeleteDeepashry's last lines explains and covers the whole article.
ReplyDeletevery kind of u ...moya n neeta ,for the prompt response.....happy n glad 2 b a good cushion in ur bold endeavour,moya...long live...womanhood!!!!!!!!!!tis high time the WOMAN got out of her shell n made a purposeful existence for herself n her near dear ones... and lived a satisfied life... deleting forever all her inhibitions,anxieties,fears n apprehensions...what a lovely visual bonanza if she walks hand in hand with her family mates in unison of thought n deeds........the world would witness a facelift in that luminous positive direction...and a beautiful carving of a better world for our progeny to breathe in....................deepashry
ReplyDelete